Briner Family Law Group

Moving Forward With Confidence

The Five Truths to Remember when Faced with Divorce

On Behalf of | Feb 23, 2022 | Divorce

When you decide to get married, you imagine spending the rest of your life with your spouse. That is the goal and intention of marriage. Unfortunately, many couples find that married life is much harder than they expected, and for many different reasons, a divorce ensues. Here we offer The Five Truths to help minimize the difficulties as you move on from an unhealthy or unhappy marriage.

  1. Divorce is a marathon, not a sprint.

Divorce can take months. If you have children, it could even last more than a year. The way you handle things prior to and in the earliest days of divorce can impact how the entire process unfolds. Keep your focus on the long-term success you need to achieve, like protecting your parenting time or preserving certain assets, rather than obsessing over some of the less important short-term battles with your spouse.

  1. This is your opportunity to create new long-term goals.

If all that you focus on when you file for divorce is the end of your marriage, then you will have a hard time rebuilding your life afterward. What do you want in five or ten years? What is the ideal future for you and your children? You’ll want to answer these questions and then let those needs shape your (and your attorney’s) approach to the divorce process. You win in a divorce not by making it as difficult as possible for your spouse, but by setting yourself up for the best future possible.

  1. Remember that the life you hoped for is not the only life with hope.

It is easy to start criticizing yourself for not achieving the life you imagined at your engagement. However, part of what makes life full of surprises is how you can turn something unexpected into something beautiful and new. Do your best to allow yourself to dream big about a new future filled with new hope.

  1. Recognize the impact of your emotions.

You may find yourself engaging in irrational behavior during a divorce because the end of an intimate relationship triggers deep feelings. Try not to let your emotions determine what you do in your divorce. It is good to recognize and process your emotions without letting them influence your decisions. Keep your “business hat” on when making the more money-focused decisions. You want to make decisions based on rational thought so that you secure the best future for yourself and your family.

  1. Align your dreams with what is realistic.

Dreaming big is a wonderful thing, but you won’t want those dreams to set you up for disappointment in divorce. Your attorney should help you understand early in the process of divorce how your court could handle property division and custody arrangements. Rather than fighting with your spouse for results that are ultimately impossible to achieve, you can instead focus on what is realistic and possible. Having the right attitude and the right lawyer on your side can make preparing for divorce less difficult, leading to a better future.